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Thoughts from my heart today.

May 20, 2014

This blog contains Christian content. I am not ashamed of my Christian faith.  It may be offensive to some, but it is the center of my life, and I am sharing some thoughts in hopes that it will help someone else. 20 May 2014   I am sitting by the window at the top step on the top floor of this old house. Outside the evening birds call their lullabies in harmony with the waterfall a hundred yards away. I can hear the water over the music from my headset. The sky is a soft blue as twilight creeps across it. The gentle breeze is barely noticeable but is a welcome friend after the heat of the day. The quietness of the approaching night I listen to the sounds of family around me. I am thankful I have them and that they love me. I have a hard time realizing I am loveable. I have a hard time accepting me as I am. I know God loves me just how I am, and He is working on me to love myself. Many people struggle with that, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. It’s an individual struggle. It’s helpful to know that others are struggling, too, but each one of us has to make it through – or not – the struggle ourselves with the help of God. Many times I have felt His presence, and I have felt his loving Father arms holding me like a baby when I was going through one of the most difficult times of my life. I have even heard Him call me by my name. His voice is sweet and strong, full of love. A few years ago, my daughter and I were part of a small medieval reenactment group. I earned the title of Countess and with that, I was entitled to wear a coronet at events. I had one specially made for me, using some of the money I inherited from my father. Not long after my coronet was finished, we left the group and the coronet stayed in the protective wrappings in the box. One night when I was feeling depressed over many things that had happened in my life, I heard His gentle voice in my heart. He told me I was to get the coronet out, polish it, and put it where I could see it every day. He told me I was His child, and since He is the King of Kings, that made me His princess. That sounds silly for someone my age to think about, but what He was telling me is that I am worthwhile, I am loveable. He loved me enough to send Jesus to die for me, and He would have if I had been the only person on earth. Those are things we have heard many times over many years, often to the point they no longer seem to have meaning. They have become clichés. But when my Father said those things to me, they took on a new meaning, a personal message to my heart. One that I needed to hear at that moment. I struggled for several weeks about getting the coronet out. I couldn’t do it. I just didn’t feel I was worthy to be His princess. But the reality is that He loves me, as an individual. I am His child. He has my name written on the palm of His hand. The coronet is in a box in my home state and I live in another state some 2000 miles away. I wish I had my coronet here with me, but I know that I don’t really need that to remind me that I am valuable, worthwhile, and loveable, even when I don’t feel like it. He is constant and His love never fails. I am writing this as a reminder to myself, and I hope that anyone else who may read this will be blessed by the message of love and hope. After all, God so loved the world…everyone…that He sent His Son to die for us—to take our (my) punishment for our (my)sin. I am part of whosoever will receive Him. As the Casting Crowns song says:     Not because of who I am But because of what You’ve done. Not because of what I’ve done But because of who You are.   That makes me worthwhile.

  1. permalink

    This is wonderful DeEtte. Not only did I need to read it but I know someone else it might help too. Thank you so much. Love, Jean

  2. Linda Lee Greene permalink

    Many hugs.

  3. Beautiful and touching post…you are most definitely a Princess!

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